~EvilCarbonara

*glares*

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Suteki da neShe weeps with tears as pure as any spring,
Unveiling hidden hearts, and now you see
That she is fairest over everything:
Every moment fades from memory.
Kind is she, but you are kinder still
In sweet embraces and romantic will.

Does every happy moment stay within the waves?
Ask you with kisses, breathing for her too:

Now you become the link to air that saves,
Eternal love submerged in waters blue.

Suteki da ne

by *Parsat

Critique by ~EvilCarbonara Dec 6, 2012, 1:33:33 AM

This is a beautiful piece that will certainly get some on to think on it. I wonder why only a few notice this? Certainly I didn't!

It's like we can envision some sort or fantasy- like scene when we read every word per line.

"Does every happy moment stay within the waves?" Now, that is a very excellent question! Does it,really? Does it not? How should I know? >_<

all in all, I like/ love this piece very much. Does this describe a mythical being? Even if it doesn't, I feel that it is.

And why the heckz did I miss that link?!

Loved it!

The Artist thought this was FAIR

2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

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*Parsat Dec 6, 2012 Student Writer

Thanks for the critique...I don't think that this poem is perfect by any stretch of the imagination (certainly undeserving of your five stars in everything), but I'm glad that you enjoyed it and that it made you think.

~EvilCarbonara Dec 6, 2012 Student Digital Artist

Oh, creativity deserves a perfect star, even if others don't quite agree with that. I quite like this piece, I even Favorited it!

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~EvilCarbonara

Suteki da ne

by *Parsat

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